{"id":1527,"date":"2021-06-01T23:02:32","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T13:02:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging2022.onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=1527"},"modified":"2022-01-07T23:21:57","modified_gmt":"2022-01-07T12:21:57","slug":"supermum-standards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging2022.onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/supermum-standards\/","title":{"rendered":"Supermum standards"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by Catherine Schasser<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s always been your biggest problem Tracy. You don\u2019t know how to ask for help.\u201d I heard this statement in a movie I watched recently and it reminded me of mums. It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t think mothers want to ask for help. Rather, I query if a hidden expectation hasn\u2019t been seeping quietly and unsuspectedly into our culture, an expectation that says mothers can do it all \u2013 the Supermum Standard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I believe this is a new normal that sees mums pushing, striving and exerting themselves to the point of exhaustion. Or breakdown. I see this time and time again. Mothers working much longer days than sun up to sun down and doing work that is physical, emotional, mental, in some ways tedious and other times completely uncertain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u2018Tracy\u2019 in the movie wasn\u2019t a mother though. No, she wasn\u2019t a fun-loving, dedicated and caring mum, she was a tough, independent, I-can-do-it-on-my-own detective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I ask you this, when did mothering \u2013 a role thats foundation is laid in attunement, connection and nurturing \u2013 become synonymous with independence? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is an utter contradiction and one that\u2019s unsupportive of the very goal and desire being sought by women and needed by children. Days of laughter, memory-making, savouring and love that are dreamed of pre-children are replaced unintentionally with tasks, to-do lists, fatigue, overwhelm, isoation and responsibilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s as if there\u2019s an internal hamster-wheel inside each mother\u2019s mind and a belief that if they stop \u2013 even for one day \u2013 the world of their loved ones will fall apart, or at the least, such damage will be done, it\u2019s not worth the pause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The irony, and the sad reality I\u2019m seeing all too often, is not the world of the loved ones falling down, but the health of the mother falling apart. And not easily might I add. No way, not in the slightest. It takes almost a wrecking ball to stop a mother in her tracks. That, my dear friends, is where my concern with the Supermum Standard lies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a belief life offers us little warnings when we\u2019re getting off track and distant from our core. A tap on the shoulder here. A whisper in your ear there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSlow down\u201d, it suggests.
\u201cAsk for help\u201d, it encourages.
\u201cRest \u2013 please\u201d, it urges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when we don\u2019t listen, it begins to bellow \u201cI asked you nicely but you didn\u2019t listen. Now I\u2019m giving you no choice\u201d and BOOM. Disaster strikes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n